I’d Rather Be a Crown Than a Trophy Wife


“The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, ‘I was wrong.'” — Sydney J. Harris

Some days I look around and can’t help but think that I don’t measure up. Don’t we all? I’m not a hockey mom, a trophy wife, Martha Stewart, or Beth Moore. I’m just me. I don’t run marathons, knit hats, bake well, or scrapbook. I read.

Barely five feet tall, I look up to other women in more ways than one. I still have this feeling that if they divided the women in my neighborhood into two teams I’d be the last one picked. I’m not the life of the party. I’m the introvert that struggles to socialize while others throw their heads back in laughter and chit-chat with ease.

I’m a star at Pinterest fails. I have one crooked arm. And I wake up with the wildest hair that needs to be tamed.

Insecurity — it’s a lie that Satan wants us to believe. We aren’t perfect and he’s sure to point that out to us every single day. He’ll never show us our importance because in doing so we wouldn’t realize how important we are to God.

If we hope to live in victory, we must keep our eyes off of the world and on the One who perfects us through grace.

Moses didn’t think he could be used by God because he wasn’t eloquent enough. And when God called Gideon to save Israel from the Midianites his reply was, “Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? Behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house” (Judges 6:15).

How many times are we held back because we’re not good enough either? How many days are we discouraged because we don’t realize the extent of God’s grace?

I’m not a perfect wife, but I cling to the verse in Proverbs 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.”

With joy I’m reminded that I’d rather be a crown than a trophy wife, and that I’d rather have virtue than vogue.

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).

You’re so much more than just another pretty face; you’re deeply loved by a God Who numbers your hair. The same God who painted spots on ladybugs’ backs, and lights up our skies with fireflies created you, redeemed you, and knows you by name.

Have you surrendered your life to the Lord? Here’s merely a glimpse of who we become through His grace:

A friend:

“Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you” (John 15:15).

His children:

“But as many as received him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name” (John 1:12).

Joint heirs with Christ:

“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together” (Romans 8:17).


“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage” (Galatians 5:1).


“In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace” (Ephesians 1:7).

A New Creation:

“So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away–look, what is new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Seated with Christ:

“[He] hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 5:6).

And the list goes on…

Seriously — does any of this compare to a bad day, or what people might think about you?

Do people point out your flaws, your mistakes, or your past?

Who you were can never compare to who you are in Christ.

You were bought, you were purchased, you were redeemed, you were set free, and you — yes YOU are loved by an almighty God!

Enter to Win a Copy of The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife


This article is an excerpt from Darlene Schacht’s new book, The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife: 18 Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth. We are excited to have 10 e-book copies to give away! Be sure to enter below for a chance to win 1 of 10 copies of this encouraging and practical book.

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New York Times best-selling author, Darlene Schacht is an ordinary mom, living an extraordinary life, because of who she is through Jesus Christ. As help-meet to her husband Michael, she guides and nurtures their four children, leading them toward a deeper walk of faith. She's the author of the book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages, as well as co-author with actress Candace Cameron Bure of the book, Reshaping it All: Motivation for Spiritual and Physical Fitness. You can find her blogging at Time-Warp Wife where she empowers wives to joyfully serve.

  • Looks great! Would love to read it.

  • I would love to read this book. I am so excited about this giveaway.

    • I’ll admit, I’d read it first and the pass it on to my friend Sara or Ashlie.

  • Debbie

    I would actually use it to start a book study with woman in my neighborhood!

  • Jessica

    If I won the book first I would read it then I would pass it on to the women in my church. We love to exchange books like this!

  • If I won this book I would give it to…


  • andrea

    Would love to share it with our women’s ministry

  • Jenneil Ross

    I’m really looking forward to reading this book.

    • Jenneil Ross

      I would use it my morning prayer group.

  • Robin

    I look forward to reading this book. :-)

  • Christina

    I would love to read this book myself and then pass it along. I’m always looking for ways to become a better wife and mother and to be a good example to others on how to live a christ centered life..I’ve still got a lot to work on myself!

  • Katrina Baker

    Would love to read as God has been dealing with my heart in this area.

  • Brooke

    Great giveaway! Thank you for the opportunity!

  • Kasey Coleman

    I do a Bible study with some fellow stay at home moms once a week. This would be great to share with them during our time together!

  • I would give the book to my friend Who realy love your Blog, and could use a cheer up.

    Thanks for the chance,


  • Michele Krause

    I would love to read this book!

  • Rebecca D

    I would love for me and my daughter to read this book.

  • Becky

    Would love to have a copy. I need this for my own personal growth!

  • Lacey S

    This looks like a great book. I would love to win it, read it and then share it with other Christian women in my church.

  • Nina B.

    I would love to read this b/c I love this author’s blog and follow it regularly. I am getting married in April and find the blog to be so helpful!

  • peg

    I would love to win this book and then pass it on to friends or family to enjoy.

  • Brianna

    This book looks great! Can’t wait to read it!

  • rebekah

    I would love to read this one myself!!!

  • Grace

    I would be so happy if I won one!

  • Thanks for hosting the giveaway Ashleigh, and thanks for all of your readers for the kind comments!

  • Bobbie Corrigan

    I would love to read the book! I would let my friends and family read it also.

  • Stephanie

    I would absolutely love to read this book! I love Darlene and everything she stands for!

  • Tina

    If I won I would read for myself and then pass along to a friend and continue passing along to other ladies in my life.

  • Vanessa

    If I won there is a good friend I don’t see a lot I would give it to.

  • I would love to win a copy. I would read it first and then pass it on to my daughter and other young women to read.

  • Julie K.

    Well, after I read it, I would pass it on to my friend Wendy…

  • Lea

    I would love to win this book. After sitting as a student/disciple for a few years as a new Christian, I’m ready for ministry. I desire to start or join a marriage ministry. I can so relate to this article and I know many other wives and women can too. i would love to share this book.

  • I would recommend the girls ministry team and women’s ministry team to read it!

  • I would digest a small group to start up at church.

  • I shared on FB and twitter.

  • I would suggest a small group study at church!

  • Sheila K

    Sounds like a good book. I’d pass it on to our church library for the ladies to try. Maybe even start a ladies’ Bible study with it. Thanks.

  • Marlo

    I would share this in a small group study at church or with my sister. Thanks to Darlene for writing it and to you for the giveaway.

  • Katherine

    After I read it, I would pass it on to my friend Melissa.

  • I would pass this book on to my best friend Teresa, she is having some marriage problems and could definitely benefit from this book and then after she read it I would pass it on to my other friend Rosa.

  • Lea

    I can’t wait to read this book and share it with my married friends and those preparing for marriage.

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I’d Rather Be a Crown Than a Trophy Wife

by Darlene Schacht time to read: 3 min