The past month has been so full.
While this time has been ripe with growth and forward progress in many areas, it’s also held its share of trying times and what I call “fogginess.” This fogginess almost always follows a time of closeness with the Lord; a feeling of “being on top of the mountain.” It’s very frustrating to go from a time of intense closeness with God to a time where it feels like God is far away and it’s hard to pray. I’ve experienced this before, but this time, I felt God led me to something that gave me a greater perspective.
I read Matthew 17 one day, and I felt a glimmer of clarity pierce through the fog. This chapter of the Bible talks about Peter, James, and John witnessing Jesus during the transfiguration. I wrote about this in my last post here. What I hadn’t keyed in on until this moment was critical:
While he [Peter] was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”
I was overjoyed to realize that the Lord was in the cloud, just as He had been when He led the Israelites through the desert. I enjoy sunshine on a beautiful day and when things in my life are going smoothly. I’d prefer those days to any, but I’m learning that it’s during those “cloudy” days that I need to listen to the Lord and lean into Him.
When I’m feeling foggy, or cloudy, my knee-jerk reaction is to panic. I get emotional and start questioning the Lord. I feel overwhelmed. What I should be doing is listening for Him and trusting that He is in the fog, even if I can’t see Him. Just as He told Peter, James, and John on the mountain in Matthew 17, I must listen to Him.
If every day was sunny and every season of my life easy, I wouldn’t grow. I wouldn’t feel the need to stretch myself and trust in Him. I am learning to embrace these seasons of “fogginess” so that I can grow in my faith and in my trust in the Lord. I no longer have to fear the cloud because I know He is in it.
“By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.” Exodus 13:21