Connect with us

Articles

How Life Gets Easier

Praise God for brokenness and his mysteries and little hot-pink sticky-note reminders — for that’s where I found freedom.

Spread the love

Published

on

I suppose I’ve always liked to control things — to plan my career or vacations or schedule my day in half-hour increments, for efficiency’s sake.

It was a gift, I thought, this mapping out of my life so I didn’t waste time reaching my goals. That was until I found myself in the emergency room unable to breathe at age 25. I squeezed my husband’s hand so tightly his fingers pulsed as the doctor told me a football-sized tumor entangled my lungs. And to complicate the situation more, I was six weeks pregnant with our first child.
You can’t control that.

Not your health.

Oh, you can eat organically and exercise obsessively and take practical steps to prevent disease, but sometimes when you least suspect it, disease happens.

Curled into myself on the couch, fatigued and fearful of what the future held for me and my unborn baby, I did the only thing I could: I prayed with great sincerity that God would heal me from my cancer.

But he didn’t.

No matter which prayer position I tried or what health tactic I dabbled in, my disease deflated me. One afternoon, a sharp, stabbing pain shot through my chest and an uncontrollable cough gurgled out. It grew louder and rattled deeper inside my core. With no other options, no other way out, I started chemotherapy during the second trimester of my pregnancy.

The person who once found great comfort in controlling her situations couldn’t heal her disease or protect her baby or make sense of all the uncertainty surrounding her life. I didn’t like this new reality very much, because it meant surrendering control.

I had a sneaky suspicion this wasn’t a coincidence.

One thing was certain, staring sickness in the face changed my goals. I no longer cared about becoming successful in my career, or being debt free, or if my house resembled a Pottery Barn catalog. I just wanted to live long enough to hold a healthy baby girl, maybe see her ride a bike, and if I was really blessed, watch her walk down the aisle.

Perspective is a beautiful thing.

A month into my treatments, I was still calculating the outcome of my situation when a good friend had the guts to say, “Once you realize you’re not in control, life gets a whole lot easier.”

Well, hello wisdom.

I needed this little gem of insight typeset on a hot-pink sticky note, plastered to my bathroom mirror as a daily reminder.

Let go.

Stop taking God’s job.

Stop being a control freak and take a breather.

Internally obsessing about the outcome helps no one and left me miserably fretful. I wished a nifty toggle switch were embedded in my brain so I could flick it off and not think about the unanswered questions in my life. Only, I wouldn’t fully learn this lesson of releasing my issues for years — a decade to be exact — because I went on to battle multiple life-threatening illnesses.

I can say now with confidence that the sweetest hours of my life came in the morning when I lay face first, calling out to God, asking him to carry me another day. Every trial deepened my relationship with Jesus, and each time God revived my weakened body after the doctors shared a grim report, my faith expanded to a new level of understanding — a level my limited mind could never explain.

Maybe that’s why he tells me in Proverbs 3:5 to trust in him with all my heart; not to depend on my own understanding. This faithful obedience required me to temper my obsessive-compulsive brain and accept the mystery of his indescribable power. He can’t show up and receive credit if I’m calling all the shots.

By my ninth medical emergency, my weakened will finally told the Lord, “Either take me or use me; I’m yours now — fully. Whether in sickness or in health, I’ll alter my life according to your Spirit’s internal nudges.”

Surrendering all is another beautiful thing.

That simple act of releasing control alleviated a lot of pressure. Praise God for brokenness and his mysteries and little hot-pink sticky-note reminders — for that’s where I found freedom.


Enter to Win a Copy of “When God Intervenes”

Want to hear more of Dabney’s story? Enter for a chance to win a copy of her new book, When God Intervenes. You can read more about it here on Amazon or over at Dabney’s website.

godintervenes

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Spread the love

Dabney Hedegard is a writer, speaker, and professional patient. In addition to writing for the Good News newspaper, Dabney speaks at churches, MOPS groups, and women’s conferences. Her memoir, When God Intervenes, released July 2013 (Tyndale House Publishers). She lives in South Florida with her husband and four children. Visit Dabney at dabneyland.com.

Welcome to Ungrind!

Do you want to be inspired, motivated, and equipped to live the everyday story of your life well?

If so, you’re in the right place. Whether you need encouragement in your relationships or in your faith, I hope you’ll find the transparent voices of mentors and friends here at Ungrind.

So, grab a cup of coffee and keep reading. We're so glad you're here!

Ashleigh Slater, Founder & Managing Editor

Get Our Free Ebook!

Sign up to receive weekly emails from Ungrind and you’ll get the free ebook, Better Together. Be encouraged by stories of hope from women just like you!

Latest Articles

What Women Are Saying

"I'm in love with the conversations happening at Ungrind. The editors and writers have taken such care to develop a welcoming and authentic place on the internet for 20 and 30-somethings. When I click through the articles, a sense of connection overcomes me as I feel like the author is speaking straight to my needs as a 30-something and this makes me want to come back and interact more often. Thank you, Ungrind, for dedicating your time to encourage and lift up this generation.

-- Sarah Martin, author of Stress Point: Thriving Through Your Twenties in a Decade of Drama

Featured Resource

"Real life is not always pleasant. Every marriage experiences disappointments, misunderstandings, sickness and financial crisis. Ashleigh doesn’t camouflage the pain in her own marriage, and offers practical ideas on how to walk through the difficulties and find intimacy on the journey. If you are anything like me, I predict that as you read, you too will find yourself laughing, wiping tears, and saying 'Oh, yes.'"

-- Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages

Disclosure

We are a member of the Amazon affiliate program and regularly use affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an Amazon link we provide, we will receive a small referral commission. This doesn’t cost you anything additional. We only share books, music, and products that our writers personally have used and highly recommend.

Trending

Ungrind

How Life Gets Easier

by Dabney Hedegard time to read: 3 min