Fall is my favorite time of the year. We celebrate both of our boys’ birthdays, our wedding anniversary, and it gets slightly cooler in the south (and the leaves are beautiful). Football reigns on Saturdays where I live and the piles of leaves just beg you to jump in them.
The day my husband and I got married (4 years ago next month) the weather was absolutely stunning in North Carolina. Carolina blue skies, perfect temperature, no rain. My shoes, dress, and hair would not get ruined due to the weather. My shoes were not the standard white sandal. No, I wore Ropers. Yes, boots, with a white dress. Those boots were a gift from a sweet friend of mine and I’ve worn them since we got married. But, that day they represented the best of me: classy and pearls with a touch of country.
Now, boots aren’t the only footwear that I own. I, like most females, have lots of shoes, probably more than we ever should have. But, why not have three pair of nude heels? Just like I might need to wear different shoes on different occasions, I’ve learned that in marriage, you need to have different shoes.
Some days in marriage will be flip-flop days. Comfortable, go anywhere, go with the flow days. You can just slip them on really quick and be on your way. Though you definitely would like a recent pedicure, flip flops really go with anything.
Marriage has really comfortable days. When everything goes well, no arguments, we are both loving as we should, and we sit down and watch West Wing at the end of the night, maybe with a huge container of homemade popcorn.
Some days in marriage need my JCrew zebra striped 3-inch peep toe heels. These are fancy shoes. Some of our date nights are like that — or we’ll have people over and we need to just be with them. So maybe I’m dressed up more or want to put forth a little more effort than I normally do, that’s when I wear those.
Marriage isn’t fancy for us, it isn’t glamorous at all, but it is stable and that is one that I love about my marriage. So, most times those peep toes stay on the shelf, but man is it fun to put them on and walk hand-in-hand with my love at the fanciest mall in town.
Some days in marriage, you need hiking shoes. I got my first pair of hiking shoes for one of my birthday presents from my parents. I was single and I could include hiking in my schedule whenever I wanted to, so I had to purchase some shoes that could stand up to lots of hiking. I loved being in the mud with those shoes and hopping through streams and climbing tall mountains to see the views.
In marriage, sometimes you need to have on hiking shoes, with thick socks. Some days, it’s hard and muddy. Sometimes sin gets in the way of the purity and goodness that marriage should be. Some days its really cold in your home because no one is talking to each other. Some days it seems all up hill. Hiking shoes are good for those days.
I’m sure there are many other types of shoes that you could choose to wear in marriage, or in your wardrobe, but there are a couple of foundations that apply no matter what shoes you are wearing. Consider these the “soles” of your marriage:
Be a peacemaker and a peacegiver.
“…as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.” (Ephesians 6:15)
“Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)
Every day. Every.Single. Day.
“Praying at all times in the Spirit with all prayer and supplication.” (Ephesians 6:18)
Even on the days when you’d rather wear flip flops than hiking shoes, keep going.
“And let us not grow wear of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)
So, whichever shoes you have on, walk in peace and love. Pray always. And persevere, friends.
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Ashleigh Slater, Founder & Managing Editor
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