I am writing the singles guide to sharing the holidays because singleness is not something to survive but thrive.
That can be especially tough to hear — if you’re “still” single.
I met my husband in January. December was always the loneliest month in the year for me. I hated spending one more Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve alone. By myself.
Even though Hollywood told me I was alone — I wasn’t.
Even though I felt completely alone — I wasn’t.
Maybe the holidays are the toughest time of year for singles because of the constant stream of family and friends.
With new dinners to attend, parties to hop, and church events — it makes me wonder if there isn’t more that could be done to make singles feel less like a disease and more welcome.
It’s called hospitality.
The Bible is pretty good about defining what our gatherings should look like.
All the believers were together and had everything in common…. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:44, 46-47, NIV84)
I only know of one disciple who was married — Peter. The rest of them were very much single. The crowds that came and gathered were peppered with singles, families, and young children.
So how is it they had everything in common?
I don’t see any mention of excluding those or making singles feel less than welcome or uninvited. There was no pressure to bring a date. I believe it’s because their focus was on spiritual matters.
If we’re not careful the holidays — Thanksgiving and Christmas — can quickly take our focus off Christ.
If Jesus is the reason for the season then how do we become so full of gluttony?
If Jesus is our gift then how do we spend so much money on presents?
Food and money divides, but Christ unites.
To Those Who Are Married
This holiday season instead of counting calories and getting into fights with family over who does the dishes — put your arms around a single and hug them tight.
This holiday season instead of trolling the malls for the perfect gift — ask Jesus to show you how to give the gift of love to those around you.
To Those Who Are Single
I challenge you to ask yourself the question:
“Why or what makes you feel lonely?”
Last year when I woke up from my turkey-induced coma on Black Friday — I couldn’t understand why I was still lonely. As a newly married woman, I was sure my first holiday season with my husband would be perfect.
I wouldn’t feel alone anymore.
I was so used to checking out during the holidays that I didn’t quite know how to engage with friends and family around me.
I was used to curling up in my bedroom alone while trying eHarmony one more time (because they always have free match weekends during the holidays).
For Both Married and Singles
Maybe there will always be some sense of loneliness until we’re united with Christ for all eternity.
Maybe it isn’t so much about if we’re married or single — but that we’re God’s beautiful bride.
This holiday season I hope every one of us will find a common theme (Christ) and make the decision in our hearts that He is enough and that we’re finally full.
Not because we ate too much turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, and cranberry sauce.
Not because we opened up present after present.
But because we truly hungered for Christ and He filled us up!
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (Matthew 5:6, NIV84).
Welcome to Ungrind!
Do you want to be inspired, motivated, and equipped to live the everyday story of your life well?
If so, you’re in the right place. Whether you need encouragement in your relationships or in your faith, I hope you’ll find the transparent voices of mentors and friends here at Ungrind.
So, grab a cup of coffee and keep reading. We're so glad you're here!
Ashleigh Slater, Founder & Managing Editor
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--Rachel Starr Thomson, author of Heart to Heart: Meeting With God in the Lord's Prayer
"Real life is not always pleasant. Every marriage experiences disappointments, misunderstandings, sickness and financial crisis. Ashleigh doesn’t camouflage the pain in her own marriage, and offers practical ideas on how to walk through the difficulties and find intimacy on the journey. If you are anything like me, I predict that as you read, you too will find yourself laughing, wiping tears, and saying 'Oh, yes.'"
-- Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages
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